There’s something deeply poetic—literally—about the state of today’s economy. And not in the Shakespearean sense.

On Zions Bancorp’s latest earnings call, CEO Harris Simmons decided to ditch traditional market analysis in favor of a ChatGPT-generated limerick. Yes, really. As the bank posted disappointing earnings and watched its stock slide, the CEO recited the following to explain the outlook:

Trump’s tariffs have caused quite a fuss,

With markets unsure who to trust.

Will prices ascend?

Will trade wars extend?

Or will growth just stall in the dust?

Now, I’m the last person to knock creativity, but when regional bank CEOs start outsourcing macro commentary to AI-generated nursery rhymes, it might be a sign of just how cloudy the forecast has become.

Zions—which, by the way, was founded by Brigham Young and ranks as a top 10 weight in the SPDR S&P Regional Bank ETF—saw its stock drop almost 5% post-earnings. And the street isn’t thrilled: price targets were cut by Wells Fargo, RBC, Baird, and others.

But Simmons isn’t wrong about the broader mood. It’s tough out there trying to predict loan growth, unemployment trends, and rate movements in an economy held together by duct tape, Fed speak, and TikTok-fueled hope.

Meanwhile, policy direction in D.C. has been as erratic as ever—swerving between hardline tariffs and market-soothing soundbites, depending on who’s standing closest to the Resolute Desk. On Tuesday, traders woke up to a flood of dovish signals from the White House:

• Trump said tariffs on China would “come down substantially.”

• He said he wouldn’t play hardball in negotiations.

• He told reporters he had no intention of firing Jerome Powell. (For now.)

All this after retail CEOs reportedly begged for relief from rising import costs, and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent hinted that the trade war was “unsustainable.”

Markets rallied hard on the shift in tone. S&P futures spiked 2.5% overnight. Bloomberg even reported that Trump’s decision to soften tariffs was helped by the fact that Peter Navarro wasn’t in the room.

If that’s not a real-time example of personnel being policy, I don’t know what is.

Neil Dutta at Renaissance Macro put numbers to it:

When Bessent headlines the day, the S&P 500 gains. When Navarro or Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick dominate the news cycle? The market tanks. Since March, Bessent mentions netted +52 points for the S&P. Navarro and Lutnick? A combined drag of 719 points.

So yes, Zions’ AI limerick may sound silly—but it’s oddly fitting for a market that now trades on who’s whispering in Trump’s ear, not just earnings multiples or macro indicators.

For investors, the takeaway isn’t just that tariffs and Fed commentary move markets—it’s that tone and timing matter just as much as policy. And in this environment, the real alpha might come from knowing which advisor has the president’s attention today.

Or, apparently, from asking ChatGPT for a poem.

Daniel Kaufman

President, Kaufman Development

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